No Kings v. King Cheeto

Across the country, people grouped into enormous crowds. Congregating beyond the millions, these people are displeased by the current administration and believe the king must go. No one wants a Nazi-loving rapist in office. Rumors of the president reading a biography on Hitler nightly are well-circulated throughout the nation. No wonder he had chosen a space-obsessed Nazi who just wanted to play with rockets as his unofficial hubby. They wanted to read Hitler biographies together.

One protestor from Italy said, “I’ve seen this sort of thing happen before. It’s a rise to fascism. When you get pulled into that lifestyle, it is really hard to get out. It’s like a really bad gang.” The disgruntled man looked over the crowd, waving his hand at them. “So, I’m glad these people are out here. I was afraid it would just be me.” He then fell silent, walking away—both happy and sad he wasn’t the only one there fighting the good fight. A bittersweet feeling.

Another protestor later told us, “I don’t like him.” After she was asked why, she responded, “There are numerous reasons why. Most importantly, it’s his criminal background and narcissism. Not to mention, you know…” She then held out her hands to her sides, pointing all around her. “He dragged us into a shitstorm.” Another woman stole her attention away from the reporter, and the two friends ran toward a group of military men who were about to spray pepper balls. They flashed their breasts, which were painted with profanities, laughing at the men in military uniforms walk back from their fierce femininity.

As ratings drop and No Kings protests gain traction from people of all faiths and political ideologies, Trump is doing one thing right: He is bringing people together. But not in the way he expected.