"Smart people don't like me!"

Instagram | @phractical_phaerie What harm can a person in an animal costume do? They can’t move around freely and are weighed down by fabric. Well, ICE felt threatened by one giraffe, who sang only his opinion with a beautiful choice of words. A Proud Boy with a big boy gun fired pepper balls at the giraffe’s feet, only to walk away ashamed of his weak aim. Detained for his freedom of speech, it took a small army of thugs—dressed in military garb—in order to drag the harmless

October is the month of spookiness and hauntings, but racists are celebrating a dead racist. Low-and-behold, tomorrow is a “new holiday,” and the creeps in office have declared it, “National Day of Remembrance for Charlie Kirk.” Comparing their dead “martyr” to MLK Jr., the watered-down Nazis are reveling in their own spite. And King Cheeto is jerking off to the chaos. Who cares if the King of Fast Food said we had too many holidays? As long as we celebrate Nazis, now! Who ca

I run the social media pages for TBN, while the others just sit on their asses, doing whatever the fuck they do. I never thought I’d end up running the social media accounts for a fucked-up satire news group. Shit, I really wish I’d got that degree in marketing, maybe I’d be working for a respectable company. Anyway, I was doing my thing, and then I get a fucking email from Ghoulie asking me to tone it down on social media and stop trolling people. She thinks I’m being “offen

You’ve heard about them; you’ve seen them in the wild. They are so loud and obnoxious they annoy their own party. Introducing: MAGA. Claiming to be a patriot of America, they go around calling everyone who dares question them all Democrats. Though, many of the people who don’t like them are other Republicans, libertarians, moderates, and other third parties. Splitting their party, throwing punches, the right wing of politics has become a blood-fest. Dividing into groups, the

America has a history of enslavement and social wrongs. And through these atrocities, men and women fought for the freedom of those who were forcefully shackled. These abolitionists were so against the sin of slavery that most of them died for it. In order to fight the current corruption—that we call an administration—we must visit the past. This time, we are focusing on one man whose name should be a hot topic in every household in this country. People need to be aware of th

Do this. Do that. No, like this, Sage. LIKE THIS. It never ends. Here I am trying to get this crappy online newspaper off the ground with two batshit insane writers, who I suspect are unemployed, with a boss that has control issues like no other. Don't get me started on this "secret boss." I've never met them, but Ghoulie Girl and Raven Poe swear they're legit. Why the hell am I trusting two strangers I met online in a game forum? God damn it. I bet you the boss won't publish