The Good Republican, The Toxic Democrat

We’ve all seen them creeping in the dark alleys with a gut too full of beer that will make anyone cringe. They may come from different backgrounds, but there is one thing they all have in common: They are society’s pests. These are the Toxic Democrats. Holding prejudices of their own, they might as well join the MAGA movement. The left doesn’t want them, and the middle can’t stand them. Often arguing online with the alt-right, people of the Republican and Democrat parties roll their eyes in disdain while reading their comments. Throw the middle guys in and it’s a full-on dance-off!

Traits of a Toxic Democrat vary from person to person. However, there is one thing that remains consistent. Too many of them walk with their heads held high as they view everyone as their inferior. Having PhDs that could fill a bank, they think their education gives them the right to criticize everyone. Being viewed as bullies of the highest degree, they believe in stereotypes and think every poor person is pitiful. Donating to minority charities, not from the goodness of their heart but out of status, they think they have the right to speak for every person of color. Rather than speaking up for minorities—a noble pursuit—they end up belittling them into a dependent role. These are the people who would have owned enslaved individuals back then, and then they would cry about it over tea with their other high-class white friends. And they wonder why most of those on the left can’t stand them.

There is another misfit group that is all smiles and hands out blessings to strangers like it’s the lottery. Their joy is often contagious. They wear hippy-looking dresses with long hair full of flowers. In their hands, a Bible. They speak up for everyone from a place of authenticity and cry when a beetle gets stepped on. They often get mistaken as a vegan and a liberal. But they simply love life, viewing it as an individual mission, and the experiences of each day. These are the Good Republicans.

The Good Republican is an individual who was raised with certain values. Oftentimes, they are true believers in Christ and love the Bible, but honestly so. Not to be mistaken with the ill-natured MAGA, they are a positive representation of what an ethical conservative can be. Believing in equal rights but differing from the left on how to get there, their social justice gene is typically a little left-leaning, while their fiscal opinion stays strong on the right. Believing in Christianity while not stepping on other’s religions or non-religion, they are what every Christian should be. So, why don’t they identify as libertarians? Because they aren’t. Holding family values close to their hearts, they are fighting to reclaim the party they were raised in back from the fascists.

When a Republican defends a Democrat from a rabid alt-right cult member and a Democrat defends a Republican from a toxic Democrat, you know we are living in a time of great political shifts. Both the Democrat Party and Republican Party are going through changes, as other parties’ ideologies are sneaking in. While the Democrats are dealing with members wanting to incorporate socialism, an ethical ideology often misunderstood, the Good Republicans are still battling fascism called MAGA.

They really should just create new political parties for the population to better understand what each sect is about. Call them “Freedom & Ethics” and “Greed & Apathy.” I highly doubt someone will wander into the wrong party, thinking “apathy” means “ethics.” But one would be surprised.

In the end, there is one thing most of us can agree on: Toxic Democrats and the alt-right both suck in their own ways. The alt-right is just in power and, you know, they have that whole fascist thing…

Examples:

Toxic Democrats: Loranne Ausley, George Wallace, John Fetterman

Good Democrats: Bernie Sanders, Jasmine Crockett, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Bad Republicans: Stephen Miller, Pam Bondi, Ashley Moody

Good Republicans: John McCain, George Bush, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Honorable mention for Antihero status: Mike Pence

Honorable mention for Grifter Status: Donald J. Trump